Man (left screen) I guess I can start. I’ve been sober for ten months, eleven months now. I haven’t drank since November, well, Thanksgiving of last year, so it’s getting there. The whole reason for me quitting was cause my last relationship was a whirlwind. I guess it was just a shit storm. And it’s kind of, on the course, cause they’ve all been like that. I’ve always had a rough history with women. The women that I dated, some of them that I’ve been with I probably should have dated and didn’t, because I was not in the right moment in time, or something like that where the ones that I did end up sticking around were always the absolute wrong choice. The last really big relationship I had lasted maybe eleven months, and within two months we were living together. It was one of those situations were like, right out of the gate I looked at her dead in the face and said “this is either going to be really great or really awful,” and it ended up being really really awful. She moved in two months after me, two months after we had met, and she quit her job, we were going to move to Seattle actually. We ended up not moving, so we stuck around and I got into a job where I was making decent money and then she refused to get a job on her own, and that put a massive stress on our relationship that shouldn’t have been as deep as it was already. We just didn’t know each other, we didn’t know if we actually liked each other, and quickly we both learned that we did not like each other, and the problem is, is that we were already integrated into each other lives at a one hundred percent daily basis. She lived there, and I lived there, and we had a roommate, and it got worse and worse. The drinking elevated. Our hatred for each other really, she would spit in my face. She hit me. One night I got drunk on an entire bottle of rye 42 whiskey, and she hit me. Yeah, I hit her back, and it’s something I still haven’t exactly gotten over. It’s the reason why I don’t drink. That specific moment scared the shit out of me. It scared me to death. I don’t even know what went over me. I woke up and, I mean, she got her licks in too. I woke up and I was bleeding, and I was alone and everybody hated me, and I had no idea why. I lost some of my closest friends that night. People that I thought would be in my life forever, people who know things about me most people don’t, because I am very close to myself. That made it even worse, cause now there’s people out there who know things about me that I don’t want people to know, and they think very ill of me. I get it, I do. It was an awful thing to do. I gotta say, I hate myself for that. I didn’t think I could ever bring myself to do something like that, and even though I was drunk it doesn’t make it right by any means. Home (pantalla esquerra) Supose que ja puc començar. Fa deu mesos que estic sobri; ara, onze mesos. No he begut des del novembre, bé, des d’Acció de Gràcies de l’any passat, així que hi estic treballant. La raó per la qual ho vaig deixar va ser perquè la meua última relació va ser com un remolí. Supose que va ser un problema. I està com en procés, perquè totes han sigut així. Sempre he tingut una història difícil amb les dones, amb les dones amb qui he eixit. Amb algunes amb les quals he estat, probablement hi hauria d’haver eixit i no ho vaig fer, perquè no era el millor moment per a mi, o quelcom així; mentre que amb les que sí que vaig eixir, van ser sempre la pitjor elecció. L’última relació important que vaig tindre va durar potser uns onze mesos, i als dos mesos vivíem junts. Era una d’aquestes situacions en què, des del principi, la vaig mirar a la cara i em vaig dir: “Açò, o serà molt bo o molt terrible.” I va acabar sent molt, però que molt terrible. Ella es va mudar a ma casa dos mesos després que jo ho fera, dos mesos després de conéixer-nos, i va deixar el seu treball. En realitat, anàvem a mudar-nos a Seattle. Jo, al final, no em vaig mudar, així que ens vam quedar ací i jo vaig trobar un treball en què guanyava bastants diners, i ella es va negar a buscar treball, i això va posar molta pressió sobre la nostra relació, que no hauria d’haver sigut tan seriosa encara. Simplement, no ens coneixíem, no sabíem si ens agradàvem de veritat, i
Gillian Wearing
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