I had to painfully restage and do the opposite to what a snapshot is, there was nothing left to chance in this instance. This was also the hardest image to do, as I had to wear an upper body suit that was sculpted to look like my brothers chest, arms and hands, it was very thick and heavy. I didn’t think I would last 10 minutes, but it took me 4 and half hours to get the photograph I wanted and I was left with severe pain in my shoulders for a few days. Me: You have created several self portraits of yourself at different ages, I am thinking in particular of Self Portrait at 17 Years Old, Self Portrait at Twenty Seven Years Old, Self Portrait of Me Now in Mask and Me as an Artist in 1984. Me: We all have many selves, physically and mentally. Our bodies and faces change over time and we are shaped by fate and circumstance. I no longer know what it must be like to be in a body of a 21 year old or to have less knowledge than I have now. But I vividly remember being in that damp dark rented flat in Earls Court in the early 1980’s, complete with snail trails, mold growing on the walls. But being young and excited to live in central London, none of that mattered. I shared the bedroom with my friend Kimberley and whilst working as a secretary on a small salary I managed to make the artworks I am holding and displaying in the photograph. For the enactment of the image I recreated the bedroom in my studio. It was very enjoyable to remake the artworks, it felt a bit like art regression therapy, simulating the bad painting and sculpting undoing any art skills I had gathered over the years. If it wasn’t for this snapshot baring witness to my first steps to becoming an artist, I mighthave forgotten when art became an obsession with me. My memory wouldn’t have produced such a result and I find it interesting that the images we do take of ourselves become the ones that historicize us. One thing I can’t remember is what I was doing before or after this snapshot, what happened during the rest of the day or that week. All that information is lost to me, I remember various events from living there but I wouldn’t know them chronologically. So I actually don’t know what I am thinking at the time, why the image was taken what I thought about it when I saw it. When I had stepped back in time, this was the strangest image for me to make as I really did feel the mask had become my skin I had the strongest connection with this person I was. I believe this may be because I had reached an age where I truly was independent and making choices like creating art. When I took the mask off at the end of the shoot, I felt my face underneath was alien and realized there was a big gulf between me then and me now. I could connect but I could not be that person again. Me: You have also dealt with aging in your most recent work Rock ‘n’ Roll 70. Me: Yes when I turned 50 I decided to have a photograph taken of me, looking casual how I appear when working at the studio. I didn’t want the image to flatter me but to be matter of fact. I then had it age progressed to how I would want to look at 70 years old. My references were Patti Smith and Lawrence Weiner, cool looking people whatever age. I present the work within 3 window mounts in one frame, the first shows me at 50, the next age progressed to 70 and the final window mount is left blank with these words underneath “me at 70 – 2034”. This 12
Gillian Wearing
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